Matrimonial discords are common, but when things spill out of control, the
situation becomes intolerable for everyone. Most couples force themselves into
situations like this due to pressure from family, society and a general sense of
shame associated with the divorce. Lack of clarity about life post-divorce is
another reason to continue with an unhappy marriage.
Relationship like this affect your physical and mental health and well-being. It
also has a negative impact on your children, parents and other members of the
family. In situations like this, it’s better to opt for a separation or divorce
after a careful consideration of various options.
Given the fact that the legal discourse for a contested divorce is a long road,
it's better to accept the situation and bury your ego. Ending a relationship
with a mutual understanding will save your time, energy, money and health.
With this guide we have detailed all possible steps that you can take to end
such an alliance peacefully.
- Think twice before choosing divorce
Don’t take it very lightly as it will terminate your every matrimonial
right. It is like giving up your matrimonial life. You may miss all those
moments which both of you have spent together. In fact, you would be missing
his/her care and support. Therefore it is suggested to think twice before
choosing divorce. You may share your issues with trustworthy and close
persons. Have a peaceful communication with your partner. If you are
confident enough on your decision to get divorced, then only go for it.
- Keep it secret from neighbours
The neighbours do have their eyes at your home also. Their comments, gossips
and interference might make your situation tough. Resolving the things
becomes difficult when it is not secret. Therefore, try to prevent your
private issues from outsider/neighbour till the date of divorce.
- Have self-control and avoid anger
Divorce impacts the mental stability of the person. Chances are high that
you’ll be becoming short-tempered and agitated in moments. You may start
using abusing languages or behave rudely. Therefore it is suggested to have
self control in these situations and handle every matter politely and
consciously. Take assistance from psychologists or counsellors.
- Meditation will help
Mediation is the best way to achieve mental as well as emotional balance.
Try it in such a situation.
- Try not to fight at the last moment
Once both of you have decided to take divorce, avoid any new issue. Avoid
any type of blame game. That will help in making your separation friendly
and smooth.
- Consult a lawyer
Divorce involves legal procedure since after divorce your marriage ceases to
exist legally. Consultation with a lawyer practicing family law will help
you know these procedures. You may also have many questions in your mind
relating to various issues in divorce. For instance, paper works of divorce,
maintenance rights, custody of child, distribution of property etc. The
lawyer will solve all your queries and let you know your rights.
- Cooperation is needed
If both of you have decided to get divorced with consent, it would be easy
to make a smooth split. Cooperation is required in order to avoid delay or
pendency. For instance, in case of non-appearance of one party at the
calling date will cause undue delay in divorce. Lack of cooperation may lead
to rejection of divorce petition and moreover, unnecessary disputes.
- Settle property related matters
Property related disputes may pop up at the time of disputes. The couple may
demand for financial help or some distribution of property. These disputes
may go serious if not resolved. Therefore, property related matters must be
sorted out at the time of divorce only.
- Don’t indulge children during talks
It is always suggested to parents not to talk or discuss on any critical
topics in front of your children. Divorce is one of such situations when
conflicts and fights occur frequently. Do not involve your children during
such a situation. Better you discuss when they are not at home. Children
soak up everything they see or hear. These discussions impact children badly
and it may lead to negating their self-confidence.
- Make plans for your children
Don’t let your children suffer due to the separation. Although both of you
have been separated but do not divide your love for children. Therefore make
amicable parenting plans for your children. Such plans include schooling
plans, higher education plans, holidays, vacation, insurance plans etc. You
may seek advices from professionals in this regard.
- Find positive out of the situation
Divorce brings negativity around you. It is your art that how you handle
such situation and create positivity out of everything. Smile on your face,
positive thinking, setting your goals, interacting new people, spending time
with kids etc. will help you achieving the same.
- Stress management
Stress is very common in cases of divorce. A sound sleep is helpful. But
sometimes, stress may ruin your sleep also. Watching movies, series, play
games, spend time with kids and pets etc. may help in such a situation.
Avoid contacting your ex-spouse after divorce. Do not keep anything related
to him/her in your bedroom. Yoga and exercise are also helpful in avoiding
stress.
- Take a break from work life
You might not be able to concentrate on your work after the divorce. Take a
break and do what you like when you were unmarried. Enjoying trips, reading
fictions, singing songs, dancing, playing instruments, delicious food etc.
would provide relief and most importantly, smile on your face.
- Spend more time with your family or best friends
This is the best time to recall your old memories which you have made with
your friends and family members. Spending time with your close or best
friends will help you forget the current situation. At this time, you need
more love and care. The same you will get only from them.
- Make new goals
Set new goals of your life rather than looking at your past. Life without
any purpose is always agitating. Since you are now free from any obligation,
you may go for your passion. Take lessons from your previous relationship.
Discuss your plans with your parents or family members or close friends.
Indulging yourself in achieving these goals will bring confidence and mental
stability.
Facing divorce is indeed tough for anyone especially when kids are involved.
It is as tough as ending your habit. It disturbs mental stability and may lead
to emotional mis-balance. However, the above mentioned advice for healthy divorce
will ease such difficult situations. Moreover, it will make your split smooth.Â
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