Abhi,

1. Record the conversation from phone, maintain all SMSs and emails.. These are important proofs.

2. Write up a description of the threats she is giving and file a NC at the police station. Do not hand over any original proofs to the police, give copies only. And mention that you anticipate trouble from her.

3. You are not married to her... So you do not have to fear.

4. Find some other sensible women (difficult) and have fun, remember never commit to any woman in future. Women are NOT for meant to be loved and respected they are meant to be ______.

reunite

Abhi,

She can file the Domestic Voilence case against you or can charge you for rape u/s 376 or for not marring her u/s 493 of IPC. In order to do save yourself from this, do as what reunite has asked you to do. This will help you in getting the case in your side.

Dear Hardikm,

In my case, my wife may not return to me for matrimonial life. They need money to settle the divorce matters.

Is there any way to live with new girl and continue matrimonial life with that girl legally or illegally.

I want to live with girl and have all kinds of relationship with her but no legal cases from my wife (present). Would it be possible by any way.

I have spme specific questions:

• Can husband live with any girl while he has wife.
• Does it possible that wife can file case on husand who is maintaining live-in relation with a girl.
• Can husband have child with live-in relationshil girl without legal issues.
• What precaution should be taken to  avoid legal issues to maintain live-in relation with girl while not divorced or is in pending in court ...

Kindly send your cooments.

Vilas,

Under which law does that become to declare as the married couple, when live in relationship is now been acceptable? It does not fall under Specific Releif Act, since the parties are living with their own wish.

How did yu accept 'livein' relationship with her without getting antecedant verification done by police...Yaar?  DNA tests prove sexual relationships between males and females.  Read this news item:

The DNA report of Bollywood actor Shiney Ahuja, arrested for alleged rape of his domestic maid, on Monday confirmed that the victim had been raped, police said. "The DNA report has confirmed rape of the victim," said Additional Police Commissioner Amitabh Gupta. "The report has corroborated the allegations in the FIR that the actor had raped his domestic help," Gupta added. The blood and urine samples also suggested that the actor was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs when he allegedly committed the crime.

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Actually in India especially in Hindu families the antecedants are verified by family members before accepting any live-in relationship.  They verify seven generations prior to that of the girl or boy to know whether they can be allowed for live-in relationships.  As sex is not a taboo in western countries, nobody cares live-in relationships there, and that becomes a tool in the hands of some people who want to exploit it to their advantage.

The same is being practised in India also where police have no role to play.  In fact for live-in relationships, in order to prevent exploitation, antecedant verification of the partners shall be done by police, then with the permission of police (not by families...that is all for middle class people), the boy and girl shall be allowed to live together.  Then this kind of problems will not arise.

Till then people like you have to spend sleepless nights. 

Chandrashekar,

Is there any law where the police do the antecedant verification? Also, there are many couples who are living in the live-in relationships so why the exception. The persons whose wife does not give divorce is also staying in live in relationship and the court is also not doing anything to stop them, since it is their human right to cohabit. If wife is not supporting, someone will naturally take her place. This is true other way round also.

Dear Hardik Mehta,

The value system in India is different from the value system in UK.  We have a proverb in our Telugu language - You can take the horse near pond, but you cannot force it to drink water unless it is inclined to have it.  A woman is so bad that she can conspire to have this boy as her husband with the help of a proof of having sex with him.  Which means she wants to force this horse to drink water against its will.

This guy on the other side has a fear psychosis that she might trap him, use police case to get married to him.  He had sex with her too. 

After going home, he will have very good and cultured parents who do not know with whom he had sex, he will marry a very good and cultured Hindu girl who might be daughter of mine or yours without telling he already had sex with a girl.  Can we file a cheating case against that fellow afterwards for not disclosing before marriage that he had affair with another girl?

This way all human relationships will be dealt by police and courts not by values and traditions. 

It is OK if I have brought up my daughter like any other crook might have brought up asking her to freak out, go to discotheques, do dating and all.  But I did not bring up my daughter like that.  So I expect similar values in the person who marries my daughter that my daughter has.  How will I know if he marries my daughter hiding the fact that he had sex already?  Our etiquete won't even allow to raise such questions while knowing about bridegrooms.

We cannot have trust in anyone without following values and traditions.  If we lack trust and disrespect values and traditions, all relationships will land up in police and courts.  What kind of hell is it for that guy to keep on suffering whether a woman would force him to marry because he had sex with her?

Is it not happening because he lacks values and traditions of our country?  Would he not have lived in peace without any anxiety such as this, if he had lived within the limits of our values and traditions, like not having sex with anyone other than wife or before marriage?

It is true we don't have a law so far, for doing antecedant verification for live in relationships, but if we think this Western liberalism would give us happiness, then it is better to codify this aspect in order to save this kind of youth from this mental trauma.

Chandrashekar,

The question over here is the concept of Live-in relationships and not the affairs. I know in affairs there are physical relationships as well as one night stands for the unmarried girls, but with live-in relationship, you are actually living as husband and wife without getting married. This is totally diffrent since the persons involved are staying together and their parents also know about their relationship.

I am not talking about the system in UK. In UK / US, the parents encourage to have the boyfriends / girlfriends and also have the night outs at one of the friends home. Like before purchasing the car, you take the test ride, similarly before going to the long term relationship you start knowing the person fully while staying together.

Coming back to Indian culture, the tradiations and culture has to change with time. This is also told in ancient mythological books. Nothing has to be stagnant and with the passage of time, the new things should be adopted. The flexibility should be present in the culture and laws.

Sir,

I don't know what happens in elite families that are settled in US/UK and other advanced countries.  I belong to Middle class Hindu family.  More than 75% of the Indian population either belongs to poor or middle class societies that are governed by values and traditions of our country that have been existing since times immemorial.

We don't treat Car and Wife at par, because if we don't like a Car we will throw it away and purchase another one.  We cannot give the same treatment to wife.  Our culture does not allow relationships to depend on the whims and fancies of the people involved, say, he does not know how to dance in parties, I will give divorce to him...that kind of Bindaas and Reckless attitude we do not encourage in our culture.

It is not only in relationship between wife and husband, in many other human relationships you find some kinds of inconvenience.  Say in a relationship between father and son, mother and daughter, father and daughter...in so many other relationships also we find conflicts and inconvenience.  Do we throw away our mothers and fathers like we throw away our children and wives giving divorce?

Marriage is not for promoting 'material interests' in India, it is for practising spirituality and Satva (goodness). 

Dharmecha, Arthecha, Kamecha, Mokshecha Aham Evam Naati Charami.

I shall remain your life partner in pursuit of Dharma (Justice), Artha (Money), Kaama (Desire) and Moksha (Heaven or Liberation)....

We cannot get rid of relationships so easily as they happen in Western countries.  We have to accept good and bad of our life partner, and strive to achieve the spiritual goals.  That is why people still have strong emotional bonds in India.

I can understand what you are saying.  The guy is encouraged to have live-in relationships by their parents under the influence of West.  So he expects that all girls are alike.  Or like character of Preiti Jeinta in film, Dil Se (Manirathnam), who will sit with this guy and ask, "Are you a virgin".

There is no question of asking the guy or guy asking such questions to girl.  In fact, we view it as an insult to our self-respect to be asked such questions.  No girl who respects herself can tolerate such questions. It is all based on trust and goodness the relationship gets fructified. 

Suppose you have this kind of guy who thinks, "Because I am bad, everybody else in the world would be like me", then he is bound to make a mistake when he interacts with our Indian girls who belong to middle class families.  Of course elite society girls are used to this culture, we know they go to pubs, take hot drinks, discuss hot matters etc. 

There are instances of this kind of guys, who married very innocent and soft natured women brought up in good and decent Hindu families and harrassed them mentally "Why don't you come to pubs and discoes?", "Why don't you dance with my friends?", "Why don't you sexually please my friend..."..."You tell me about your past sexual fantasies....on whom you had crush?"...."Why don't you booze?" ... "Why do you behave like Sati Savithri?"...etc.  Because they want to remain in "hot mood" always.

If their wives say, we don't do all that we were not taught that kind of culture at home, they blame them for "making an attempt to assume very high moral ground" or blaming them for "being hypocritic" and all.

We have also seen what kind of impact this kind of guys are making on our society.  We are making our best efforts to prevent our girls from falling victim to that kind of trends.

"If I don't accept I am as 'bad' as he is, will he lable me a hypocrite?  I might be truly an innocent woman?  How can he force me to accept for such acts that I was never a party to?", asked a girl who is harrassed by one Hifi NRI.

What shall we do with these crooks?

Western lifestyle goes with the notion, "Everybody in the world is bad, I shall not trust anyone for his goodness and depend on anyone except my own money".  Indian lifestyle goes with the notion, "Everyone in the world is good like me, if I keep practising goodness and doing good to people, everybody else will do the same for me". 

What kind of society you like as a person?  How nice if we all can trust in each other's goodness?  How peacefully we all can live if we all can trust in each other's goodness? What kind of Hell one's mind becomes if he cannot trust the very person with whom he shared a sexual relationship, you know seeing the guy who started this topic in this forum.

Our culture, values and traditions are not so easy to understand Sir.  It is true our culture has to change with times, but simulteneously we should not forget to preserve and explore what purpose the old values, traditions and customs serve.

hi ,

I am already divorsed..(2008) I m in contact with 1 boy who's divorse is not completed yet..So in such a case can i get into LIve in relationship with him. Wil i be harrsed by her first wife if i come in live in relationship.Wht things should i consider before comming into this relation..

Hi Baiju,

Yes, you can go in for the live-in relationship since you are divorced and your partners wife will not be able to file any cases against you. In live in relationship, you are not charged with adultery as well as bigamy.